I've known for some time now that God has a special purpose for my life. I jumped into into it with full force two years ago, and nearly drowned. I decided that I must have misunderstood. This work is much too hard and too painful. Surely God can't want me to do it.
Since then, God has been slowly preparing me, guiding me, nudging me, and introducing the right people into my life to support me on this journey. I understand now that it's not going to be easy. It's not supposed to be. But even though I don't understand why God chose to use me in this way, or how He could possibly think I'm qualified or capable to do this, the conviction in my heart to move forward has become so strong that I can't ignore it any longer.
Today I remembered a book that a friend sent me about this time of year two years ago. I didn't really understand why she sent it at the time, especially because it's signed by the author, and addressed to her mother. What a special gift. Now the purpose is suddenly clear. The book is called "Night Shift" by Dave Shive. It's written for people who find themselves being called to do the hard, difficult and lonely work that's usually not on most people's list of fun projects to volunteer for.
I liken it to working the night shift in a hospital. Most health care professionals choose not to work the night shift for reasons that make perfect sense to most of us. Yet the reality is that "someone" has got to do it, and it looks like I've been drafted. Of course I believe that God gives each of us free will, so I'm not saying that I'm being forced to do this. I guess I'm saying that as much as it scares me and overwhelms me, now that I've clearly heard the call, I have to respond. I have to take a giant leap of faith and believe that God will give me the tools, the skills, the resources and the people that I need to do the things He'd have me to do. And when I'm able to meet His challenge, doing so will be another testimony to His power, because He knows that I know that I can't do this by myself.
(to be continued)