Saturday, June 9, 2007

It really does take a village

Just about every person I know, with the exception of my mother and my aunt, would think I was absolutely insane if they knew about this blog. They'd ask me how I can pour out my heart and soul about matters that are so intensely personal in such a public forum. They'd wonder if I couldn't find a more productive use of my time and they'd warn me of the dangers of the internet.

What they wouldn't consider (or understand if I tried to explain it) is that I have found more support, encouragement, helpful suggestions and relevant resource information through this virtual support group, than I have in any other source either before or after I've been diagnosed. Perhaps most importantly, no where else have I found the empathy that has been so sorely lacking for most of my life. I spent so much time knowing that something was wrong, but not knowing what... feeling as if I was the only person on the planet experiencing the issues I constantly struggled with. While I would not wish BP on anyone, to know that I'm not alone in the struggle somehow makes it easier for me to bear.

As anyone with bipolar disorder knows, the nature of the illness often causes a shift in perception, both of ourselves and what's going on around us. Typically I am either extremely down on myself when I view my life through the prism of depression. Or, equally as problematic, I'm extremely overconfident in my abilities and make very poor decisions based on grandiose thinking. Knowing that there are people in this bloggerville who understand that, and who can help me view a situation more clearly is invaluable. Case in point, Susan's reply to my last post about my reaction to a situation with my salsa instructor.

While I often receive positive confirmation here, it's important to note that I know that if I'm off-base, or over-reacting, or drowning in a sea of despair because I'm feeling particularly depressed, the same support structure is there to help reign me back in. While it may not feel as warm and fuzzy, it's needed and appreciated just as much.

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read my musings here and a special thanks to Susan and Marja, who have been there to support me from virtually day one of this blog. May we all continue to share our joys and our disappointments along this road together.

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