Someone asked me the other day why I named this blog "Bipolarity." It was an interesting question which I don't think I've ever covered here. And since the focus of my writing has evolved and the name is perhaps even more relevant as a result, I thought I'd share my answer.
I started writing after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, atypical bipolar II to be exact, although nothing about my medical history has ever been exact, including this diagnosis. However, every name I could think of that had "bipolar" in it was already taken, so I chose "bipolarity."
My early posts dealt almost exclusively with my thoughts and fears about the diagnosis, about my prognosis, and about re-evaluating former events and relationships through the new lens of knowledge provided by my new diagnosis. As the depression lifted and I started to write about other things, I realized that there was more to my choice of a name for this blog than I'd orginally thought.
Dictionary.com defines bipolarity as "having two opposite or contradictory ideas or natures." I don't have two contradictory natures, but I do often have the ability to see both sides of a situation, and often find myself embracing a point of view and/or a choice of action that is the polar opposite of what most would do under similar circumstances. From an intellectual standpoint, this often makes my life interesting, but socially, it often leaves me feeling emotionally isolated, wondering where are the other people in the world who view the world as I do.
In "The Invitation," Oriah Mountain Dreamer writes that "beneath the small daily trials are harder paradoxes, things the mind cannot reconcile but the heart must hold if we are to live fully: profound tiredness and radical hope; shattered beliefs and relentless faith; the seemingly contradictory longings for personal freedom and a deep commitment to others, for solitude and intimacy, for the ability to simply be with the world and the need to change what we know is not right about how we are living." I think she lives a life of "bipolarity"too.
I started writing after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, atypical bipolar II to be exact, although nothing about my medical history has ever been exact, including this diagnosis. However, every name I could think of that had "bipolar" in it was already taken, so I chose "bipolarity."
My early posts dealt almost exclusively with my thoughts and fears about the diagnosis, about my prognosis, and about re-evaluating former events and relationships through the new lens of knowledge provided by my new diagnosis. As the depression lifted and I started to write about other things, I realized that there was more to my choice of a name for this blog than I'd orginally thought.
Dictionary.com defines bipolarity as "having two opposite or contradictory ideas or natures." I don't have two contradictory natures, but I do often have the ability to see both sides of a situation, and often find myself embracing a point of view and/or a choice of action that is the polar opposite of what most would do under similar circumstances. From an intellectual standpoint, this often makes my life interesting, but socially, it often leaves me feeling emotionally isolated, wondering where are the other people in the world who view the world as I do.
In "The Invitation," Oriah Mountain Dreamer writes that "beneath the small daily trials are harder paradoxes, things the mind cannot reconcile but the heart must hold if we are to live fully: profound tiredness and radical hope; shattered beliefs and relentless faith; the seemingly contradictory longings for personal freedom and a deep commitment to others, for solitude and intimacy, for the ability to simply be with the world and the need to change what we know is not right about how we are living." I think she lives a life of "bipolarity"too.
1 comment:
I like how you said this:
"re-evaluating former events and relationships through the new lens of knowledge provided by my new diagnosis" for me it provides a sense of continuity that wasn't there before.
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