One of my most frequently visited posts so far was about things NOT to say to someone who is depressed. Since there seem to be a lot of people who want to help, I've come up with a brief list of some simple ways well-meaning friends and family can help. I know there are lots of other ideas, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment. If you can think of others, please post a comment!
- Come over to visit - bring lunch or dinner. Many times going grocery shopping is a real chore, and even if there's food in the house, on some days it just requires too much energy to cook, especially if you're not hungry. When you're making a pot of spaghetti, or soup, or a delicious casserole, double the recipe and share.
- Invite them to a movie - offer to drive. Sometimes people who are depressed find it hard to make choices. If you know them well enough, make it easy. Pick a movie and a time. All they have to do is get dressed and be ready to go.
- Offer to keep the children for a few hours. If there are children, particularly young children, offer to take them out for a few hours, to the park, to a movie, to Chunk E. Cheese, or over to your house for pizza. Even a few hours of quiet time alone, having to be responsible for no one else, can be a welcome relief. And many parents are just too embarrassed or ashamed to ask for a break from their children.
- Call to check in on a regular basis. Sometimes it helps just to hear a friendly voice. Even if the person doesn't feel like talking for long, just knowing that someone cared enough to call to see how they're doing can make a world of difference.
- Bring a movie and popcorn. Sometimes people who are depressed don't want to talk, but they do crave company. Avoid the awkwardness of feeling the need to have a conversation by just sitting together and watching a movie.
- Offer to attend to their errands while attending to yours. If you live nearby, and it's convenient for you, tell your friend that you're going to the grocery store, the drug store, Wal-Mart or the dry cleaners and ask if you can take care of anything for you while you're out. If they think you're going anyway, it may not be as difficult for them to accept your offer.
2 comments:
These are excellent suggestions, Syd. I've been working on a series of articles on how Christians can support their friends with depression (though they've been on the shelf for a while). But I seem to have missed out on these practical things people can do, concentrating - perhaps too much - on spiritual support. I will have to work more on the kind of suggestions you have given here. Thank you for the inspiration.
having just returned from that deep dark place, i asked myself what mightve helped me. when it rains, it pours and i run for cover, keep my head down and wait for the storm to pass. and i want to be left alone, or at least thats how i feel, or think i feel at the time. i barely made it through the work week, calling in sick only once. the weekend came and i slept pretty much from friday evening to monday morning, getting up only to move from the bed to the sofa or vice versa, which brings me to my suggestion. it might have been nice if somebody had woken me up on saturday morning with a nice cup of coffee and something yummy to eat. it mightve helped me stay vertical for a portion the day.
Post a Comment