Sunday, April 8, 2007

The glass is half full

If we're willing to look for it, we can always find cause for celebration, even in our darkest days. If you doubt that, read this post at Bipolar Wellness Writer. I'm inspired by Susan's honesty and clarity and I share many of her sentiments.

I was particularly struck by the way she describes hypomania:

"In a hypomania I feel a kind of aliveness and joy that I think few "normal" people ever experience. When I'm hypomanic and I walk outside and feel the sun on my face, it literally warms my heart. When I look at trees, I notice the color and texture of their bark and leaves. When I walk around the park, I hear the birds chirping, the whack of golf clubs hitting golf balls, the scratching sound of squirrels climbing trees. When I'm with people I care about, I feel a love that is so pure and full that my heart feels like it might burst with happiness. When I am hypomanic, I feel a level of energy that is truly blissful."

It's ironic that medical science has determined that to feel these things is to suffer from a "mental illness", a mild form yes, but a mental illness nonetheless. I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the notion that this isn't what life is supposed to be like. So what exactly is "normal" and who gets to decide? Is a view of life that is less than what Susan describes the accepted norm because the majority of people experience it that way?

What's so wrong with seeing the world in living color, knowing that your senses are alive to all the sights, sounds, tastes, textures and fragrances that surround us? What's wrong with laughing with reckless abandon just because, or feeling love with such an overwhelming force that it brings tears of joy to your eyes?

As much as depression sucks, I'd rather have bouts of depression sprinkled with liberal doses of hypomania than to never have experienced life in technicolor.

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