Bipolarity: A long, hard look in the mirror

Thanks to Lucky Mud for sharing some tips on self-care from a book she's reading. She says that

The authors have put together a 4-step plan: (1) Medications and Supplements; (2) Lifestyle Changes; (3) Behavioural Changes; and (4) Asking for Help. What they stress is that in order to create lasting stability, we must treat bipolar first - manage the illness before work, relationships and everything else...The first step in the book is to list your major symptoms. This is to help in identifying a good treatment plan and to be able to talk to your doctor about your experience with the illness.

It was helpful, and very illuminating, to read Lucky Mud's list of symptoms. I saw so much of myself there. So, I decided to take the plunge and create my own list of symptoms as the first step in the self-care process. Be forewarned - the list is a long one:

Depression

Sadness, unhappiness, feelings of despair and hopelessness
Irritability, frustration, low tolerance, anger, pessimism
Apathy, lethargy, lack of energy and enthusiasm
Hypersensitivity - overly emotional, crying easily
Feeling easily overwhelmed
Complete loss of sex drive, sometimes to the point of revulsion at the thought of sex
Insomnia at night, sometimes sleeping too much during the day
Poor memory and concentration
Slow pace - thoughts and physical movements are slow and require much more energy
Inability to work efficiently, or at all, easily distracted, hard to focus
Difficulty meeting obligations
Low self-esteem, feeling worthless or inadequate, loss of self-confidence
Ruminating over past mistakes/failures - constant questioning of and examining of my life, choices and behaviors, excessive feelings of guilt
Difficulty making even the simplist of decisions
Social isolation
Thoughts about death and dying, not suicide, just dying from an accident or natural causes

Hypomania

A profound feeling of love, wonder, and physical and mental well-being
Feeling positive or optimistic no matter what happens - always seeing the bright side
Significantly decreased need for sleep
Increased energy
Gregariousness; talkativeness, especially with strangers
Increased productivity, very goal-oriented
Racing thoughts; increased, but fleeting interest in random topics
Thinking and speaking so quickly that others can't keep up - getting irritated that they can't
Increased sexual desire - feel sexy
Increased self-esteem or grandiosity; an unrealistically inflated sense of self-worth
Believing that I can do anything, even things that I have no experience or skill at
Increased involvement in, and obsession with, goal-related activities
Starting new projects I'm confident will change the world
Highly distractable - jumping from topic to topic, obsession to obsession
Lots of ideas on how to make a lot of money
Planning how to spend money that I don't have yet