Friday, November 23, 2007

I'm grateful

This Thanksgiving has been one of firsts...the first spent without my daughter who spent her first Thanksgiving on an Air Force base in Iraq... the first with a diagnosis of bipolar and all of the accompanying changes that has brought... the first at a restaurant instead of my own or a family member's home.

I think it's fair to say that the past year has been one of the most difficult, and yet one of the most personally rewarding years I've ever had. For every challenge or disappointment, there has been a corresponding blessing, perhaps not one that is easily recognized, but an important one nonetheless.

My financial situation has not improved significantly, but it's been stable and I know have health insurance. I've suffered the loss of relationships that were important to me, but I've developed new relationships that I'm certain will be life-long ones. My first book still hasn't been published yet, but it's closer than ever and it's better because of the delays. I had to walk away from the demands of my knitting ministry for a while because the emotional toll had become unbearable, but I've found ways to work smarter so that I can help others without losing myself in the process and look forward to a great year of outreach in 2008. I rebounded from my biggest bout of hypomania last year to one of the darkest bouts of depression, but also found a great healthcare team and a medical and self-care regimen that's working. I learned to dance salsa, a long-time goal. I've picked up photography as a new hobby that I love, I had my home re-organized by professional organizers and 2 months later, it still looks neat and clutter-free. All things considered, it's been a great year and I have a lot to be thankful for.

Here's my Top 10 (in no particular order):

1. I'm healthier, both physically and emotionally, than I've been in years, and I have a great health care policy. Although I have a lot of "issues" with my current employer, I'm thankful that she pays 100% of my health care insurance premiums.

2. My daughter is safe and as well-adjusted as can be expected, given that she's in Iraq. She enjoys being in the military and she's grown tremendously during the time she's been serving.

3. For the first time ever, I have the equivalent of 3 months salary in readily-available savings and I'm using a budget and financial planning system that has totally revolutionized my relationship with money.

4. My first book is about to be published and I've already started on the second. In fact, my dreams of owning a small publishing company are closer than ever to coming to fruition.

5. My home reflects my personality and I enjoy the time I spend here.

6. I've learned to set boundaries in my relationships with others in order to take care of myself and my needs.

7. I've made some wonderful new friends.

8. I've learned that I don't have to be "busy" all the time. I've finally figured out that it's ok to read, watch tv, play, goof off, or simply do "nothing", without feeling guilty. I'm finally taking care of myself.

9. I finally understand that honesty and authenticity is not only OK, but it's vital, to emotional well-being. The world is not going to end if someone doesn't like me because I was honest, and even if they do, I like myself even more.

10. We haven't had another 9/11 experience.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can I come over and have a cup of coffee? It seems as though there is much I would love to talk with you about. This post has encouraged me on a day that started out on the downhill slide....thanks for the nudge back up hill.

marja said...

Two months with no clutter collecting! That's amazing! Wish I were able to do that. It sounds like your life is rich and in good shape. Thanks for sharing.

sbwrites said...

Very nice post! I've always believed it's better to talk about what we're thankful for on Thanksgiving than to make New Year's resolutions that we'll never keep.